1. I am human. You are horse. What I say goes. Please

take that into consideration when you are standing on

my foot.

2. Spilled grain is not “fair game”, especially when

it is spilled in another horse’s stall. It still

belongs to that particular horse. You have no reason

to go in and eat it.

3. Poop does not need to be hidden. I clean your stall

every day. I will find it. Do not hide it.

4. I do not need your help when I clean the barn, nor

do I need your supervision, or even your presence. I

have been cleaning the barn and stalls ever since you

lived here. I know what I am doing. Standing at the

door staring at me, will not make me clean faster.

5. There is no need to go into the barn and help

yourself to the feed. Meals are given at specific

times of the day. There is a feed schedule. You know

the schedule. I know you know the schedule. You know

that I know that you know the schedule.

6. Water buckets are not toys. Neither is the gate,

pitchfork, wheel barrow, whatever is in the wheel

barrow, fence, or the occasional dog.

7. The wheel barrow is there for a reason. Please do

not try to move it while I am cleaning your stall.

8. Just because I go into the barn doesn’t mean you

automatically get food. There is other stuff in the

barn. Stuff you don’t want. Like wormer and fly spray.

9. Sheath cleaning will NOT be enjoyed…by anyone.

10. Water travels through the hose. If you are

thirsty, do not stand on the hose. The water buckets

will fill much faster.

11. Not everything has to be high drama. None of the

following things will kill you: fly spray, plastic

bags, balloons, hoses, chipmunks and other small

rodents, or bright blue tarps.

12. Although I understand the need for you to go to

the bathroom, it is not necessary to hold it in all

day until the moment I finish cleaning your stall and

put away the wheel barrow.

13. Accidents happen. However, I’m not altogether sure

you’re not trying to kill yourself. Next time you

decide to impale yourself on some sort of object,

please try to do it when it’s not hailing, midnight,

the weekend, or Christmas.

14. While I appreciate your need to be clean, pooping

in your water bucket does not make my job easier, and

it deprives you of water. Please find a new spot.

15. Whinnying as loudly as you can in my face does not

make me feed you any faster.